It Came from the Sky by Chelsea Sedoti

Author:Chelsea Sedoti [Sedoti, Chelsea]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Published: 2020-08-03T18:30:00+00:00

Interlude

Jealousy

I was jealous.

I was jealous and I hated myself for it.

It’s not that I thought Owen would leave me for Cass. But still, I was disturbed at the thought of him kissing someone else.

And…

Well, I promised I’d be truthful in this account.

Owen kissing Cass bothered me because it was a glimpse of things to come. This time it was for a play. This time it was a kiss with someone he wasn’t attracted to.

This time.

What about all the times in the future?

I had no illusions about my and Owen’s future. According to an article I read, less than 2 percent of high school relationships ended in marriage.

While I had a year and a half of high school left before escaping to college, Owen was a senior. He’d leave in less than a year, while I was stuck in Lansburg. How could our relationship survive that?

Especially when…when I wasn’t sure how much I meant to Owen in the first place.

Do you recall what I said about people trying to force Owen and me together? Regardless of whether or not we liked each other, if there were only two openly gay kids at a school, surely they must date?

For me, that wouldn’t have been reason enough. But I happened to like Owen. A lot.

Was it the same for him, though? Doubtful. He was smart, popular, attractive, talented. The kind of person everyone liked and respected.

The truth is, I wanted to keep our relationship quiet because if people knew someone like Owen was dating someone like me, there’d be jokes. Maybe the jokes would be enough to make him step back and wonder what he was doing with me.

And he’d realize he was with me because I was there. The very thing I hated so much—being pushed toward him simply because there were no other options must have been why he dated me.

I knew I had redeeming qualities, and I was sure one day I’d find a man who appreciated them. But certainly that man wouldn’t be as impossibly perfect as Owen. He and I were mismatched. Our relationship was entirely unbalanced.

That was why I wouldn’t make our relationship public. Why make it official in the first place when I knew the eventual outcome?

And that was why it hurt to think of Owen kissing Cass. I knew it was the beginning of a long string of people he’d kiss, people who weren’t me.

If heartbreak was inevitable, wasn’t it better that we never named the thing between us? Wouldn’t it hurt less when he left me? You can’t truly lose something you never had in the first place.

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